Fictional Sophistication

Okay so when I finally sleep for more than four hours at a time I have this dream where I'm a spy working with James Bond and Sophie Devereaux (from Leverage if you're wondering) and we're on this yacht doing undercover work. It's all very fancy until we have to make a quick exit and so for some reason our tech person decides to capsize the boat so that we can escape. So we swim to shore, get further intel, and then have to go to yet another shoreline which we decide to do by canoeing??

This is where it gets weird.

Bond and Sophie both find boats; I do not. So I use a dufflebag and a snow shovel. And it means that I basically bounce fifty feet in the air every time I row with the shovel. And then there are ninjas after us. But we destroy them and get to the other shore, where there's a massive gala. And then I do some acrobatics for the show. And people assume I'm Korean. And that somehow lets me beat them up.

So somehow we save the day. I DON'T KNOW GUYS. MY SUBCONSCIOUS IS GETTING WEIRDER.

Goddamn it, I want a Tesla.

No, not the dude. The CAR.

It's hot, and it's electric, and its $100,000. Goddamn it. Big money fail.

http://www.teslamotors.com/

Oh my god I just got accepted into the University of Leeds. One of the most well-known universities for Victorian studies.

Aha.

AHAHAHAHAHA YES.

Swear to god, I send out emails to my family at normal hours and receive answers mostly between 1:00 and five in the morning. Is being nocturnal really that genetic?

Today, I learned about general relativity, quantum mechanics, and string theory. Why? Because I finally started to write my ridiculous dream-based time-traveling novel, and I want it to actually have some basic connection to real science. And guess what? I might be able to make it work, based on quantum entanglement, and the theory of gravitons being able to pass between higher-dimensional membranes. It'll still end up being complete pseudoscience in the end to make my plot work, but at least I won't have made the entire thing up.

Also, string theory is freakin' fascinating. I forgot that with the exception of the ridiculous math, I really enjoy science. Therefore, PBS's Nova shows are going to be my new thing for this year. I highly recommend "The Elegant Universe" series--I think I'll be buying Brian Greene's book now, along with a ton of other things I should read this break (and probably won't). But anyway, sometimes it's really fun to be a big nerd about these things. Theories of everything are pretty cool.

Oh, but scientists? Whose great idea was it to call supersymmetrical particles "sparticles"? That is the worst made-up term ever. It's not even a clever acronym. God.

Goddamn it, all of the electronics in my life are breaking. My darling computer's alerted me a couple days ago that my startup disk is nearly full, and now my speakers are on the fritz. Plus my monitor has always been retarded...I NEED ALL NEW THINGS.

Unfortunately, I also have no money, especially if I do make the one big purchase of a new computer, which is first priority. Argh. I swear, if my hard drive or my tablet start acting weird, I'm going to have a heart attack.

On the bright side, I made a giant chart of all the schools I'm applying to, and what each of them need. I feel slightly more under control about it. Slightly. So far, Edinburgh is winning for being the most clear and the most relaxed about this whole process. Oxford and Princeton lose for being scary and obtuse, respectively. Is it bad that I'm judging schools based on the relative clarity of their websites?

Okay, back to work.

So, I think I just got offered a chance to teach a photoshop workshop when I get back to school, and then get promoted. Hot damn! Was my interview really that impressive?

Now I'm really excited to get back.

From: contemplates@stutz1.at
Subject: Rolex, RRado, Patekk Philippe, Omega, Gucci
Date: August 20, 2008 1:59:45 PM EDT

Heya,


New wattches here

Of ten' (referring to the age of marriage). Thleen there,
beautified the place and made it a second from his meditative
tendency, his father, in order younger mind that here was
a life unlike his own, matter. The stories he had heard
of macleod's unto brahmanas with due rites. O thou of virtuous
existing in the city. Many must have been destroyed nodded.
why don't you sit down? I'm sorry we can't particularly
wondered how, while tied down to in consequence of the appearance
of those horses.

...

It's sort of hilariously gorgeous, is it not? Sort of along the lines of a Lewis Carroll nonsense poem. I'm almost tempted to go visit the link they sent, except that I'm not an idiot. It's rather encouraging that even in these increasingly informal times, junk mail is becoming more florid.

Dr. Horrible is awesome. The really sentimental part of me that usually stays hidden would totally melt if someone sang "With My Freeze-Ray I Would Stop the World" to me. Which probably says more about me than I care to admit. Why yes, I would love to be sung to with a cheesy song that also implies world domination. That would be great.

I'll stop talking now. But people should watch that thing, stat. It's Joss Whedon for Chrissakes--you know it's going to be good.

Hey, so I'm performing in a recital at the main hall in Skinner, 5:00 on Monday. Peeps at Vassar should come and see! I'll be playing Debussy's Images I. It's a pretty badass piece, and solo too, which no one really sees me do. One of the disadvantages of playing an instrument that can accompany itself.

So yeah, come by! I'll be playing around 6:00--there's a lot of other people playing too, so it should be pretty fun.

That is all!

My god. The flight. It is booked. That was the most stressful comparison shopping I've ever done in my life. But it's done, and it's permanent. Lock and load. Woohoo! Prague awaits!

I had a dream last night that I met Shostakovich at the Academy Awards. It was fantastic. He was really nice, and had a lovely Russian accent, and I actually managed to be charming and not awkward. I'm fairly sure my dress was badass too. I've never been so disappointed at waking up in my life.

On an entirely related note, NyQuil is my bestest friend.

I have a thesis topic! I have an advisor (or at least someone who will find me one if she can't do it herself)! And just in time, because I totally didn't realize that the deadline for the proposal form was this Friday. Heh...yeah.

I seriously can't believe that an existential crisis at 5:00 in the morning actually precipitated an idea that garnered such a positive response. It was amazing. I mean, I've heard Beth Darlington has mad high standards, and she totally threw herself behind my idea.

As for the actual topic...it's going to be badass. The sublime vs. science! In Victorian literature! I'm so excited! It's a vast topic, and can definitely encompass both poetry and gothic fiction, so I can really take it any way I want to. And Darlington said it was fantastic, and that she was going to make sure that I got it done. Yuuusss.

Now, if the English department could just stop making changes to their requirements, then I could pre-register and be set. But noooo, they have to throw one more obstacle in my face before I go. Thanks, guys. Thanks. I wouldn't even mind if you just offered more courses in the bracket you require, so that I wouldn't have to throw myself into a course I have no motivation to work for. Argh.

This week is a little hectic, but it just improved significantly.

Firstly, It is now spring. Therefore, it needs to be warm. Why is this so difficult? I refuse to bow to the tyranny of Mother Nature's whims.

Secondly, I totally kicked the ass of my econ midterm. And there was much rejoicing! I have finally re-acquired my mathematical skills. Took me long enough, eh what?

And now for major bullet points:

-I'm switching the concentration of my music minor. Why? Because apparently I'm a writer/creator, no matter what the medium. Thus, I'm going to try my hand at composing. My efforts haven't been bad so far, and have always been better than my theory efforts. Thus, I am responding to my preference, which has cheered me considerably. So after this semester, no more theory! Only writing! I'm actually glad I took this route, actually, because not only will my final project be writing a piece, but waiting this long means I have a more thorough grounding in theory than I would have if I had declared a comp minor from the beginning.

-I have no idea what to do my thesis on. Argh. It's very irritating--as someone with a fairly clear sense of her tastes and ambitions, one would think that I would know exactly what to do. But I don't. I've scattered my concentration rather widely over the English department, so I don't really feel fully comfortable in any particular era, except maybe the classical and early Anglo-Saxon. Ironically, those are two time periods I have very little interest in any more. Le sigh. I'm leaning towards gothic fiction, but feel that it's been overdone. I'm drawn to Victorian lit, but don't know much about it. Theory is fascinating, but I'm terrible at it. I sort of want to do another religious studies paper. I'll have to see if they'll let me. Gah, so confused and conflicted.

-Public Service Announcement: As it is now spring, and at least somewhat warm (though, as previously stated, not nearly warm enough), it is time to put away the Uggs, people. I have tolerated their existence in the winter, albeit unwillingly, because in that season it is cold, and I can understand wanting to throw on what are essentially slippers in boot form when going to class. But now it's warm. PUT THEM AWAY. They are, and always will be, tremendous eyesores. More importantly, don't wear them with sun dresses and believe that to be a legitimate way of dressing down an outfit. If you're going to wear a dress, wear it. Embrace the dress! It wants to make you look pretty! So don't put all that effort in and then give yourself cankles with horrible monstrous footwear. Also, capri leggings that end an inch above where your boots start is just tacky. Ya'll should know better. It doesn't even make sense! Just saying. End rant.

I'm totally channeling Dick Francis for my latest Composition assignment. LOL. I feel like it should be entitled "CRACKDOWN" or something else dramatic. But it won't be. It's going to take a turn for the worse (for the characters, not the writing) and then will more appropriately be known as "The Unfortunate Demise of Sir Edmund Ramsey". If I can figure out what happens next, it's going to be awesome.

Can you tell I'm having fun with this? Because I totally am. I want this project to be a book. And I think it can be, arranged properly and edited meticulously. Muahaha.

It may have taken a semester an a half, but I think I've finally got my math groove back. THANK GOD. It is rather comforting to know that I am capable of teaching myself statistics, because it would have been really bad if I had spent the rest of the semester struggling with covariance and such. That would have likely ended in slaughter. Of me. Yeah.

And now, story writing! I am surprisingly chipper for having pulled an all-nighter. It may have something to do with all my work being done by 12:30 today. Hooray! Now, if only the stupid Daumercy Club story would right/write itself (Ha! See what I did there?), I'd be all set. Grr. Stupid narratives of confusion. I'm so much better at character portraits.

I am deathly scared of my finance midterm, and of my postmodern lit paper, both of which I don't feel prepared for, and which are approaching at an alarming rate. What is my present solution? Procrastination!

That being said, I've started a writing blog: Fictional Sketches. Feel free to check it out. I won't make any guarantees about the quality of the writing--basically the goal of the blog is to make myself write something, anything, every day. I'm trying to make them standalone pieces, but I've so far thrown in character profiles and fragments as well. Basically, as long as it has some sort of substance, I figure that's okay. So yeah, my belated New Year's resolution is to do it every day for at least a year. That's 365 vignette story things. Woo! I'm sort of excited, actually. It feels like something that could amount to, well, something.

Anyway.

In other cool news, I actually received my first genuine compliment from my piano teacher about my playing on Thursday. He's referred to my playing as "good" every once in a while before, of course, but this time it actually sounded like he meant it, and was impressed. It was sort of awesome, honestly. His standards are such that his feedback on my playing has grown to matter a lot to me. He is a professor at Mannes, after all. Gotta respect that. And the fact that he's a fucking genius at piano. That helps too.

Of course, two days after that I heard Brian Kim play, and was reminded that there is a standard of musicianship that I will never achieve, ever, and that a kid a year below me has already reached it. Le sigh. It didn't upset me, mostly because I saw how much he loved the music while he played and listened to it. It was a pretty fantastic to watch, actually. A very refreshing change to see someone who not only had the technical skill and musicianship, but also honestly enjoyed playing. Now if only he'd stop being a know-it-all in harmony...kidding!

Lastly, I went to see a play at Skidmore today that Shmenna designed the set for, and it was brilliant, both on her part and on the part of the production as a whole. Much food for thought that certainly pertained to all of my postmod readings, so thanks for that, Brecht. In any case, it was nice to see her and family and shtuff, and once again be assured that all my Amherst friends are going to end up successful, one way or another, because they are just that awesome and talented. Overall, a good day.

But this coming week is going to suck.

The first draft of The Hollow is now complete. I am awesome.

Of course, this draft pretty much sucks towards the end, but it has a stupendous amount of potential, if I may say so myself. I discovered many things about the story's true nature just as I was finishing the last few pages, so many of the intricacies of the universe never really got a chance to develop, but now they'll stew in my head for the next six weeks, so that when I start editing, I'll be fairly bursting with energy and ideas for its full completion.

At least, that's the plan. Hopefully, I won't forget all of these lovely revelations. I could write them down, but I always feel like they lose some of their vitality when reduced to notes. Meh, if I forget, it probably wasn't worth remembering to begin with.

In any case, I am pleased.

Okay, there's some kid on my hall, apparently, who thinks its appropriate to hock extremely loud and disgusting loogies (sp? oh who gives a shit) out in the hall at whatever time of day he pleases. 4 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, who cares? I DO.

It's one thing to do in the privacy of a bathroom stall, where people trying to go to sleep aren't subjected to the sound, but goddamnit, it's just the most disgusting things to hear ever, and I want it to stop, IMMEDIATELY. Unless the guy has TB, or something, he has no fucking excuse. I don't want to hear it. FUCK OFF. For one thing, it doesn't have to be that loud, and for another, it's a disgusting fucking habit that I thought left my life along with high school douchewaffles. GROSS.

Goddamn kids, get off my lawn.

200 pages of reading: 5 hours

Writing question responses: 2 hours

Being able to use Metalocalypse as an example in my religion seminar: Priceless



Man, maybe I should have done a minor in religion. Welp, too late now.